Thursday, February 26, 2015

A conversation with my brain about ideas...

I've decided, when spring comes, I'm going to start a new project.

Something completely new for me (minus selfies, the kids/cats, and the normal family pictures); but a photography project, using only my iPhone camera (because it's the only camera I have).

I'm going to take pictures of anything and everything, including random people, animals, flowers, trees, waterfalls, rocks, garbage, walls, the moon, etc. I'm going to try to find different things, interesting things, pictures that make you think and feel and wonder... Those are my favorite kind of photos.

From April (or once it's warm...)  through October (or once it's cold again).

This is going to be around a 6 month project.

Just for fun. Just to try something new. I am FAR from anything remotely close to being a professional photographer, but I do like taking pictures and since 90% of social media involves pictures, I though, why not? I promise to keep the selfies to a minimum. Because this isn't about me, it's about exploring the world and seeing what's really out there, from a new perspective.

I also really need a new project to focus on, because I haven't been doing so well with the writing lately... And maybe this will help spark something, or inspire me to write again. Because I really miss it. I love writing so much, and I get so depressed this time of year, living in Upstate/Western NY, with the cold and snow and ARCTIC FUCKING COLD... it's  so hard to be happy and feel good and to concentrate.

Sometimes, I wish I could go back to 2008/2009, before I started SUNY Brockport, because that's the year I wrote the most, and even though it wasn't very good, I was brave enough to do it. And more than anything, I miss that. I miss being brave and confident and excited about my stories...

Not many people believe in me or my writing, or my abilities. Especially the ones that should to believe in me, and I allowed their ... skepticism, to make me second guess myself and my ability to write.

I allowed the one person who should support me say, "But is it ever going to amount to anything?" Like, I was wasting my time doing what I love...  And I was so devastated, I just gave up. Because how can you believe in yourself when the people who supposedly love you, don't?

I want more than anything to prove him wrong, and everyone else who has ever doubted me wrong... But before I can prove them wrong, I have to start believing in myself again.

I need to get rid of the negativity in my life, and start living my dreams.

Because, seriously, if you don't believe in me, why are you in my life??

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